Ch-Ch-Changes

So many changes we go through during the course of our lifetime.

I just keep thinking about this transition that we go through during our twenties. Our whole life we go to school and then suddenly it's done and we're thrown into this new world that we really know nothing about.

Here are a few of the difficult transitions I'm dealing with as a twenty-something: 

School vs. Work

We go to work every day, come home and go to bed and then start all over the next day. I understand that during our school years we also followed a pattern. Something like: school, sports, home, dinner, bed. But at least things changed up once in a while!

Our classes changed, we interacted with new people each semester, sports changed from season to season. For me, tennis was in the summer/fall, then it was all about gymnastics throughout the end of fall and winter. I wasn't in any spring sports so then I took some time off and focused on my studies and just relaxing after school. Then it was summer! Oh summer.  No school, sleeping in, and working a summer job. But that was just for 3 months and then we're back to school again! With new classes and fun with our friends.

And that's how our entire lives were from age 5 to about 21 (or whenever you graduated from college). Then BOOM. Real world. Now you get a job and just work there every day. There really isn't an end in site like there was in school with the end of trimesters, semesters, etc. There was always that next semester to look forward to. You knew that if you were taking a shitty class that it would be over soon and you just had to get through it and get to the next semester. But work? No, if you're having a shitty time at work, you better figure it out for yourself. Change things at work or get a new job and hope things are better there. 

Social Lives

As we grow up, finish school and start our careers, we're torn in a million different directions. Our schools, careers and love lives have given us great new adventures away from home and some of us choose to stay away from home. I've got friends who I used to see every day that now live in Boston, Iowa, Wisconsin, etc. Some of my friends live less than 25 minutes away from me but I still hardly ever see them because this whole adult/work-life has taken over. Even weekends get filled up quickly making it almost impossible to make plans with friends. This has been a huge change for me as I adjust to this new life I'm leading. Of course I still see some friends on a weekly basis, but overall I'm getting quite used to just being home with my husband and the dog.

Our whole lives we've been surrounded by peers at school and in extracurricular activities. Even now, at work, we may have coworkers who we consider great friends, but at the end of the day, you fend for yourself. And one of you could be gone or laid off at any moment. I've experienced this first hand. Now I work mostly by myself, which is very quiet. This is so different from my last job where I was around people and socializing ALL day. What a challenge this has been for me...to learn to be alone. 

Love Lives

Dating, marriage, babies. My husband and I dated for 7 years before we got married. After being together that long, we knew that not much would change within our relationship immediately after getting married. However, living together and not with our families was a huge change for us. We're all about famliy and being around people, so living in a home where it was just us two for a while was interesting. We were overjoyed when we got a dog. It just makes it feel that much more like a home!
Combining finances and sharing bank accounts is also a huge adjustment. We're both smart with our money and are good savers, but we also have different priorities when it comes to fun, 'extra' expenses. Should we get a new couch or a new laptop for gaming? You can guess whose priorities are whose :) These are discussions we've never had to have before, and regardless of how well we handle these conversations, they're still new to us. 

Titles

I've talked about this in my blog in the past... Now that I'm not a student, what am I? What am I striving for? What do I strive to be? I'm not a mom yet, but I am a wife. What does this mean? What are my responsibilities now compared to what they were before? Our roles and expectations change so much in our twenties. I feel like I'm in an awkward stage between teenager and full blown adult. Yes, I'm an adult. But some days it still feels like I'm just pretending. Some days it feels like I'm just playing house and have to leave and go home soon. 

Career Path

Since college graduation, I've had 4 jobs. I only chose to leave one of those jobs, the other two were taken from me due to lay offs or their inability to hire me due to a low budget. That's 4 jobs in 4 years. A few thoughts some of us have about work: Am I in the right field? Is this where I belong? Should I go back to school? Now would be the time to do it. Is this really what I want to do? If I'm going to change I should do it now while I'm still young! Ahh! The pressure!
Things are different now. We don't get jobs and stay in them for 30+ years like our parents did. We have every opportunity in the world available to us leaving us with literally thousands of options for a career choice. Trying to figure out what you really want to do it exhausting. 

Living Situation

Some of us live with our parents. Some of us live with roommates in an apartment. Some of us live with our significant other in our grandma's basement. And some of us are married and live in a townhome with our spouse. Where do we go from here? Is there where we're going to stay? Most likely, no. We have plans to move someday. 

My husband and I are getting more and more serious about buying a home this year. So many discussions have occurred surrounding this topic. Where do we want to live? Where do we plan to work? Do we plan to stay at our current jobs? How long of a commute are we willing to have? When you're trying to figure out your career and home life at the same time, it can make for an exhausting day. Hence, why I mostly want to be in bed by 9pm every night.

I look forward to the day when I finally feel settled and comfortable with the fact that I am an adult and I will be an adult the rest of my life. For now, I'm caught in the middle and feeling like this isn't real. There's gotta be a way to go back to how I used to feel, when things were simple.

I'll get there, but it's hit me awfully hard lately that there is no going back. And that's a good thing. I don't want to go back. But since I'm not sure what's coming, it makes me nervous. I don't know what "classes I'll have next semester" and I don't know my "graduation date". Things have always been so laid out for us. How do we adjust to making big decisions on our own and making our own calendar of plans? What a responsibility!

 Life is hard, but we are strong enough to push our way through it and enjoy the little things that each
day brings.

Your friend,

Meg